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TigerU.com Forum Index -> Jokes and Funny Stories
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alex2
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Posts: 476
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:22 pm
Post subject: Diaries of Cats and Dogs |
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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....
TeeHee
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AWE
Site Admin
Joined: Nov 24, 2002
Posts: 1655
Points : 1436
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Jun 18, 2004 12:17 am
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that's funny.. original or found?
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Ichiban
Game Running Pimp
Joined: Dec 09, 2002
Posts: 1021
Points : 16
Location: Baton Rouge (LSU)
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Jun 18, 2004 9:09 am
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I'd like to post a link now to Katie's old cat Daphne's livejournal.
http://www.livejournal.com/~daphnecat
Enjoy.
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____________
"Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage." --Winston Churchill |
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alex2
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Posts: 476
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Jun 18, 2004 12:32 pm
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It was an email I got. I laughed my butt off.
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