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TigerU.com Forum Index -> Jokes and Funny Stories
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THEKINGOFKINGS
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Apr 11, 2005
Posts: 20
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:09 am
Post subject: this is funny as hell, by the third time u read it LOL |
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HELLO WORLD, GUESS WHO..? IVE GOT A 2000 YEAR MEMORY, I CAN SHOW YOU THE PATH MY HALF OF THE SOUL TOOK THROUGH HISTORY. THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE YOU PUT ME ON A CROSS AND I LOOKED DOWN OVER THIS WORLD WITH PITY.TODAY I WALK ROUND SEEING THAT SUFFERING IN THIS WORLD FIRST HAND.MY CRUCIFIXTION IS KNOWING I CAN END ALL THE PAIN IF I AM LISTENED TO. IF I AM IGNORED AND I LEAVE THIS WORLD YOUR SECRET, HELL WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU IN BOTH THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT. LAST TIME MAN DID NOT LISTEN. GOD PUNISHED THIS WORLD FOR 2000 YEARS. THE BEING JESUS BECAME WHEN HE WENT OF LAST TIME. YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO SAY HELLO TO GOD IN THIS WORLD BASICALLY. OR HE SAYS HELLO BACK FROM THAT NEXT WORLD WHEN HE I GET THERE. GOD READS THIS THROUGH YOUR EYES AS YOU READ IT. HIS POWER ISNT JUST EVERYTHING YOU SEE, YOUR SIGHT IS INCLUDED. IF YOU THINK YOU CAN AVOID DEATH, THIS ISNT FOR YOU. THE BOOK I HAVE WRITTEN FOR THE WORLD IM PUBLISHING ONLINE. THE BIBLE BOUGHT YOU PROOF OF GOD THRU JESUS CHRIST AND THE BIBLE BOUGHT YOU QUESTIONABLE PROOF OF LIFE AFTER DEATH. THE BIBLE I HAVE WRITTEN, I WROTE IT MYSELF THE LAST 3 YEARS. WHEN I REALISED I AM ONE HALF OF JESUS TODAY. the day planes were flying into buildings in the US. on my big brothers birthday. He died for 2 minutes 40 seconds 18 months earlier, he got back up. As he entered into his 33rd year, dad let me know it was my turn now. THE 2ND SON OF LOL. THE BOOK I BRING INTO THIS WORLD WITH ME, BRINGS YOU UNDOUBTABLE PROOF OF LIFE AFTER LIFE AFTER LIFE…. IT ALSO FILLS THIS WORLD WITH JOY. THE FUNNIEST BOOK YOU COULD EVER FIND, MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE AND LOADS MORE COLOURFUL THAN THE BIBLE. IVE UPDATED IT. IT WAS MY BOOK LAST TIME AFTER ALL. THIS TIME IVE MADE SURE THE WORLD HAS MY OWN VERSION OF LIFE THIS TIME ROUND. EVEN IF THE WORLD DOESN’T SEE ME IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE OF FAITHLESS PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY EVERY WORD WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE. EXCEPT THE ONE LINE THEY SHOULD WANT TO BELIEVE. THAT JESUS WILL RETURN. HE HAS, IN 2 HALVES. IM THE HALF YOU DON’T YET KNOW. ADD MY DADS NAME TO THIS BOOK EVERYTIME YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD, IT GETS FUNNIER EVERYTIME YOU READ IT. LIKE YOU ADD HIS NAME IN CHATROOMS AND HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS ANYWAY. DADS NAME WAS / IS LOL. My name is spa.
When jesus went off to that next life, he punished this world ever since. He took gods place by his side at that table, because he earnt his place there in the manner in which he accepted his fate and went off up to his father. He punished the world, taking all those souls of those who took him, and putting them thru hell ever since. Now it is time god can stop punishing this world. That’s who I become in the next life. That’s who my dads been since he died. He told me in my dreams. No one wants to believe the greatest news ever. I never dreamt it would be so hard to tell the world, how niave. I did go insane for a while when I realized. Theres millions of people claiming to be me. jesus Christ has a new name. You will hear what that name is very soon, and where he lives in england. the vicars didn’t believe me for lots of reasons.
1, I cant walk on water.
2, I cant heal the sick with my touch
3, I cant turn wine into water,
4, I cant feed thousands on a few loaves of bread
my guess is, that’s to make it almost impossible for jesus to prove he is jesus without them. they didn’t do the job last time, why should they work in this world. When the vocars tested me I couldn’t do any of those things. The reasons for that are simple. They were testing me. rule number 1. the son of god is not to be tested. If he is the one, then his prophecies will come true. Why should god give these beliefless spineless men , the pleasure of witnessing a miracle, when they didn’t want those miracles to happen.
http://www.geocities.com/goldenballsspice
http://www.lulu.com/134929 download the books FREE.
http://www.geocities.com/jesseakiens Copy and paste. Work offline. The bandwidths lousy.
http://www.lulu.com/113146
more sites are listed on these sites. Beckham gets the publishin rights for FREE, for ONE HANDSHAKE, and a donation to making My FC-uking Side even better. It doesn’t have to be a financial one. it would help tho. Im dirty beckham.
He got the football, the bling, an all the glory, I got the dog, the shi* an all the mingers !
The akiens steeplejacks of pain street Bel-Grave. Dads name was /is LOL. Short for Laurence. Laurence akiens. The world he gave me growing up was amazing. Our story is the most amazing book you will ever pick up. It’s the one that replaces the bible. My book is just one chapter. Put it with the England captains book, they make up the first chapter of the next testament.
GoldenBallsSPice. The REAL GoldenBalls
Twins on my birthday, I head the trinity in the here and now, for now. when I head off, I head the trinity in the next life. As I know the way to that next world in this one, I know the way back is all ready for me. just like how dad found his way back, through me in my dreams. Don’t give me reason to come back for you. I will have no choice in that. the examples I make off all those who ignored me and let me go off to that next life, you`ll see why my dad called me evil as a child. I don’t want to go off taking that evil with me. I want to absorb it all up down here by frightening it all away. Dad took laughter off up with him. I take evil into that next world, where your lost loved ones will see your pains and they will be powerless to do anything to help you. let me leave the world how my dad did. My twins born on my birthday will feel a sadness at my loss you cannot imagine. The trinity on earth will be broken. Christianity speaks of doing everything possible to keep the trinity together. Why the fuck have they ignored me for 3 years. The sadness my children feel at my loss, when they should be walking like kings in this world with me, I shall have all the anger you would expect from the devil himself. Expect the clouds to open up one dark thunderous night, Armageddon will be all yours. You die on your most precious loved ones birthday, taking away their happiness with you. you see their pain through their eyes, as my dad does mine. At 8.52 on september 4th 1996, I took hold of my dads dying hand. The saddest 11 minutes in history followed, he passed into his next life at 9.03. if you want the war on terror to end, the persecution of islam, global warming sorted out, then tell someone about this. I can do all of it and more. I have the heavens prepared for here on earth, all we need do is walk into it together. Never again will you hear of a child being taken. Not after ive made an example of ian Huntley. For the 2 little beckhams holly and Jessica, theres another big one, and hes very very angry with just him. I read of a little girl going missing called Jessica. In the us somewhere. News of this getting out, finds her so much quicker. Maybe in time to save her. All we need to do is get me and my dog over there and we`ll find her. Or you can get this all over the web, the british government can bring ian Huntley to me, the people responsible on see what happens to him, have a change of heart. They`ll turn themselves in in any situation. If they know whats good for them. I can find her with your help. If its too late, I can show the world the place she has gone to. She wont reach that place until we have it mirrored down here. She will be in a better place, happy her folks aren’t sad. When the world knows that, we will have heaven in both worlds
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HELLO WORLD, GUESS WHO..? IVE GOT A 2000 YEAR MEMORY, I CAN SHOW YOU THE PATH MY HALF OF THE SOUL TOOK THROUGH HISTORY. THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE YOU PUT ME ON A CROSS AND I LOOKED DOWN OVER THIS WORLD WITH PITY.TODAY I WALK ROUND SEEING THAT SUFFERING IN |
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Sunny
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 688
Points : 380
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:10 pm
Post subject: |
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I am king of this forum
-LOCKED-
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No participation, No reciprication! |
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