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TigerU.com Forum Index -> Free Speech Alley
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Mon Sep 12, 2005 5:52 pm
Post subject: i think this pretty much sums it up |
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Subject: God, I love Bill Mahr
Here's Bill Mahr's closing bit from the other night:
"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's
no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start
another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck,
the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping
poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit
cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.
Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest
and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil
company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try
the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what
you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President
could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a
lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales
tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And
Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.
But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you
govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm
surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a
catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty
president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water
and snakes.
"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus,
four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the
City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you
don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could
be if you were on the other side.
So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a
hint.' "
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"That´s my opinion I could be wrong." -Dennis Miller
Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time time but in the end you´re just fucking yourself. |
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JasonB
Veteran Poster
Joined: Oct 15, 2004
Posts: 793
Points : 1218
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Sep 12, 2005 5:58 pm
Post subject: |
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you govern like billy joel drives......
ouch
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Sunny
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 688
Points : 380
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:39 am
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i thought bill mahr was supposed to be funny.
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No participation, No reciprication! |
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patrickr
Semi-regular
Joined: Mar 29, 2005
Posts: 60
Points : 82
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:41 am
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| Quote: | | Giving embryos the vote. |
I hate Bill Maher and never thought he was funny, but I laughed at that line.
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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:12 pm
Post subject: Re: i think this pretty much sums it up |
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Here's Bill Mahr's closing bit from the other night:
[edit]
"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus,
four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the
City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you
don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could
be if you were on the other side."
Ahh, the seething brilliance and positivity of Bill Mahr. How did we get along without him until now?
"we've lost ALMOST [emphasis mine] all of our allies" So? maybe we needed to lose some of our "allies".
" weve lost ... the surplus" Debateable. Depends on how one cooks the books whether we ever really had a surplus. During the B.C. years, there was lots of talk about PROJECTED surpluses. But, ok, let's assume there really WAS a surplus. Sep. 11 costed money, lot of it. And the same people bitching about an ill-equipped armed forces in Iraq are the same ones bitching about spending money.
"we've lost ... four airliners" Absolutely miraculous - how can a person actually crash (I assume) 4 air planes without dying. Must have shot them down with his quail gun.
"we've lost ... two trade centers, a piece of the pentagon" Oh yeah, I forgot. He flew those four planes into the twin towers, the pentagon, and an open field in Pennsylvania.
"we've lost ... the City of New Orleans" Hmm, news to me and a few hundred thousand others. I know exactly where it is. But, assuming he actually did "lose" N.O., his ability to not only crash and survive 4 airplanes and then actually build a hurricane and direct it to N.O. is beyond superhuman. This man is verily a god. ... Maybe between now and 2008 he can "lose" the 22nd amendment.
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Sunny
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 20, 2003
Posts: 688
Points : 380
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 12:31 pm
Post subject: Re: i think this pretty much sums it up |
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| twister wrote: | | Maybe between now and 2008 he can "lose" the 22nd amendment. |
Yeah, cuz black don't deserve the right to vote!!!!
wait....
Because Prohibition needs to be repealed....
Screw it, after 10 its just a buncha crap anyway.
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No participation, No reciprication! |
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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:18 pm
Post subject: Re: i think this pretty much sums it up |
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| twister wrote: | | Maybe between now and 2008 he can "lose" the 22nd amendment. |
yeah then he could be emperor Bush, or maybe King Bush (that's kinda pornographic funny), or Grand Poobah Dubya. I wonder if Prince Abdullah has a crown he could borrow.
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____________
"That´s my opinion I could be wrong." -Dennis Miller
Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time time but in the end you´re just fucking yourself. |
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Sep 13, 2005 5:09 pm
Post subject: |
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Tragedy
President Bush was visiting a primary school and he dropped in on one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy." "No," said Bush, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room a small black boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs. Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a accident either."
somebody sent me this. i thought it was funny too.
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____________
"That´s my opinion I could be wrong." -Dennis Miller
Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time time but in the end you´re just fucking yourself. |
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