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troutinafishbowl
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Apr 28, 2004
Posts: 16
Points : 10
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:55 pm
Post subject: Favorite Family Guy Quotes |
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Anyone have any favorite quotes they would like to share? I have one in my signature, but I'll add a few below...
-"Oh please, Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs"
-"GASP!"
-"Too soon?"
-"I'm going to go draw boobs on the Etch-a-sketch!"
-"Go ahead, they always come out square!"
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"All my coworkers see when they look at me is a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye...he sees a loser and a snack machine." |
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amcorona
Regular
Joined: Mar 11, 2004
Posts: 83
Points : 0
Location: Baton Rouge, originally Slidell
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:10 pm
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ooh, there are so many!
Security Guard: Alright son, we're gonna need those two hams back.
Chris: Huh? I don't have any hams.
Guard: Lift up your shirt, son.
Chris: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris: Thanks.
or maybe
Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)
Peter: Oh, oh god, that's right ponies, ponies like food.
Or! (I love Adam West!)
Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West?
Adam West: How do you know my language?
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the only thing thats real are the kids that kid themselves and the demise of the beautiful |
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JSON
Semi-regular
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 60
Points : 0
Location: Tiger Land
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:42 pm
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Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle i find, i shall KILL you
Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane ...
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers.
Stewie: "Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb."
Stewie: What's this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G ... oh, that's better than sex!
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"Got Milk?" |
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OffThaHeezy
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 13
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 12:25 am
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People in court room:
"oh no"
"oh no"
"oh no"
"oh no:
::BIG CRASHING SOUND::
Koolaid guy comes through the wall
"OH YEAH!"
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brtorgo
Post-count whore!
Joined: Dec 07, 2002
Posts: 421842
Points : 0
Location: raton Bouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 1:52 am
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Quagmire line, when he found a tied-up cheerleader in the men's room:
"Dear Penthouse: JACKPOT!
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Face it some of us apparently are too ugly physically and characterly. I have accepted this and will no longer even try. |
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audmonkey
One odd monkey
Joined: Feb 04, 2003
Posts: 281
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 7:38 am
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Peter: HOLY CRAP! I'm communticating with nature! Uh, tree, if one of you falls and no one is around to hear you, do you make a noise?
Tree: Oh yeah, Scott fell over last week and hasn't shut up about it since.
Scott the Tree: Oh yeah, go ahead and bitch, but you don't see anyone trying to HELP ME!
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
many more great ones, just a few that I found that I liked... Family Guy kicks ass!
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runeblade
Regular
Joined: Oct 22, 2003
Posts: 117
Points : 0
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 9:21 am
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Quagmire "Heh, Alright"
Quagmire "How old are you?"
Girl "16"
Quagmire "18"
Girl "mom"
Quagmire "i like where this is going, gigidy gigidy"
Peter "Jesus loves me, he loves me a bunch, cause he always puts skippy in my lunch"
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Frank Zappa - “There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.” |
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_MagnoliA_
I've been around a while
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 276
Points : 42
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 1:42 pm
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Brian: Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Brian: Gosh, I'd like to help you, Peter, but I've got to go out in the hall and chew on the back of my ass for about five minutes.
Brian: You want some ice cream?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want some McDonalds?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?
Stewie: Yeah.
Brian: Okay, let's go and take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.
Chris: So..ah..what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who are you talking to?
Chris: Grandma.
Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.
SORRY! Don't start on Family Guy quotes...I'd quote every episode.
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Anonymous
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 2:12 pm
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Stewie: "Does anyone else smell Astroglide?"
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alex2
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Posts: 476
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 4:58 pm
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Stewie: "I see you Klause!!!!"
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brtorgo
Post-count whore!
Joined: Dec 07, 2002
Posts: 421842
Points : 0
Location: raton Bouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:50 pm
Post subject: |
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magnolia you rock
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Face it some of us apparently are too ugly physically and characterly. I have accepted this and will no longer even try. |
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uNkNoWn
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Jun 15, 2005
Posts: 1
Points : 2
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Jun 15, 2005 6:55 pm
Post subject: |
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STEWIE: you some people say life is like a box of chocolates, your life mother is like a box of active grenedes!
SERVANTS: we'll do the best we can with meg
MEG: are you saying i'm ugly?
SERVANT: it doesn't matter dear your rich now!
STEWIE: you. your the worst thing to happen to theatre since andrew lloyd webber. and you, i just plain don't like you.
(lois is getting ready for a wedding, peter walks in wearing the same dress)
PETER: well one of us is going to have to change. alright unzip me.
(peter walks out of the basement in a radioactive suit)
CHRIS: ahh the gorvernments here, run et run.
PETER: honey are you pregnant?
LOIS: no
(peter pushes her down the stairs)
 
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patrickr
Semi-regular
Joined: Mar 29, 2005
Posts: 60
Points : 82
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:51 am
Post subject: |
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In Cuba (not exact quote):
Lois: "Peter, we'll never find the blackmarket."
Peter: "You also said I'd never find that back-alley abortionist. I glad you didn't go through it, but the point is I found the guy."
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Norris
Mr. Negative Nancy
Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 736
Points : 370
Location: the N.O.
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:23 pm
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Lady: "Glenn honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?"
Quagmire: "I have a question for you to. Why are you still here?"
Jesus: "And for my next miracle, I'm going to turn wine...into funk!"
Stewie:(Playing a banjo) "Met her on my CB, said her name was Mimi, sounded like an angel come to earth. When I went to meet her, man you shoulda seen, twice as tall as me three times the girth. My fat baby loves to eat. A big ole buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet."
Kid: "I have thirteen tickets now."
Man: "Oh, I'm sorry Timmy, you need fifteen tickets to live."
Cleveland: "The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette."
Peter: "Well somebody tell this cigarette to shut-up."
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FlySouth
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Mar 10, 2005
Posts: 14
Points : 34
Location: 225
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:34 pm
Post subject: |
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Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.
Peter Griffin: Chris is not as smart as you think he is...
[Peter slaps Chris in the back of the head]
Chris Griffin: HEY!
Peter Griffin: He did it.
(Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it.)
(Brian and Stewie come up to the crowd around the well.)
Man: There's a little girl stuck in that well. Unfortunately no one's arms are long enough to reach her except for that one guy, but he's helping that woman tickle a midget in a tree.
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