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mgorycki
I've been around a while
Joined: Sep 10, 2004
Posts: 238
Points : 64
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:46 pm
Post subject: Jokes |
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This guy walks into the bar with his friend which is a head, nothing else. The guy says gives us a shot each. The head drinks it and pops out a torso. The guy says holy shit!!! Give him another shot. The head drinks it and pops out an arm. The guy is amazed. Give him another shot. Out pops a leg. The guy says one more time, if he can get one more leg or an arm, I'm sure he'd be very happy. Give him a shot. The head drinks it and dies. The bartender says you ahould have quit while he was a head. 
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I don´t care y should u? |
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Jun 20, 2005 9:38 pm
Post subject: |
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rofpmplmfao
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"That´s my opinion I could be wrong." -Dennis Miller
Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time time but in the end you´re just fucking yourself. |
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mgorycki
I've been around a while
Joined: Sep 10, 2004
Posts: 238
Points : 64
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 8:24 am
Post subject: |
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There's a italion guy, a jewish guy, and an irish guy in the desert. They come upon a lamp one of the guys rub it and a genie comes out and says I'll give you all one wish. The jewish guy says I want all the money in the world and to be at home with my wife. Poof, he's gone. The italion guy says I want to be home with my wife and have all the pizza I want forever. Poof, he's gone. The pollock says I want a car door. The genie says why. The pollock says well, if I get hot, I can roll the window down.
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I don´t care y should u? |
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LSUdave
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 21, 2003
Posts: 394
Points : 22
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:36 am
Post subject: |
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Hank was at the bar where everyone knew him. He was also quite the ladies man. He was sitting at the bar one day when he saw two women sitting together. He motions to the bartender that he would like to send over 2 drinks to the two ladies. The bartender tells him that these women are lesbians and he didnt want to get them mad. Hank says dont sweat it and send them the drinks. The bartender sends them the drinks and the women wave and say thank you. A lil while later one of the women comes up to him and tells hank that she would like to show her appreciation for that kind gesture and would like to know if he wanted to see the most beautiful breasts he had ever laid eyes on. He of course said yes and she undid her blouse and out came the most beautiful pair of breasts hank had ever seen. He said thanks and she went back to the table to be with her gf.
After this Hank decided to send the couple another pair of drinks compliments of him. Once again the ladies waved and said thank you. Next thing hank knows the other woman comes up to him and asks him if he would like to smell the sweetest pussy he had ever smelled. Well hank was all excited now so he said sure. Then the woman blew her breath on him and said, See isnt that the sweetest smell you have ever had.
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Party like a rockstar, f*ck like a pornstar |
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LEstay
All Around Nice Guy
Joined: Jun 09, 2004
Posts: 1064
Points : 900
Location: Houston, Tx
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 10:08 am
Post subject: |
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A blonde boarded an airplane that was scheduled to land in 3 hours. After about 30 minutes in the air, there was a loud noise from outside the airplane. The captain got on his intercom and told the passengers, "Please do not be frightened. One of our engines died, but we still have three left. This is perfectly safe, but we will arrive at our destination about 30 minutes late."
After another few minutes, another loud noise came from the outside. "Passengers, please do not be alarmed. Another engine died, but we are still okay. We will arrive at our desination about 2 hours late."
The blonde got frustrated, leaned over to the passenger next to her and said, "If those other two engines blow, we'll be up here forever."
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mgorycki
I've been around a while
Joined: Sep 10, 2004
Posts: 238
Points : 64
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 11:16 am
Post subject: |
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There's a cucumber, a pickle and a dick. They are talking about how bad there lives are. The cucumber says "my life is so bad people wait for me to grow big and juicy, slice me up and put me in salads, then people eat me."
Well the pickle says "you think you got it bad, they wait for me to grow big and juicy, soak me in wine and viniger for months and months, then people eat me." The dick said that's nothin', "people wait for me to grow big and juicy, stick a rubber bag over my head, stick me in a dark smelly hole and make me do push ups till I puke all over myself."
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I don´t care y should u? |
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phoAm
TigerU Supporter
Joined: Jan 24, 2003
Posts: 1080
Points : 1568
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 3:19 pm
Post subject: |
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*calls Don Carter's Allstar Lanes*
*ring ring*
Guy: Don Carter's Allstar Lanes, how may I help you?
Caller: Do you have 8-pound balls?
Guy: Uh.. we carry all sorts of balls.
Caller: Just say "yes" or "no".
Guy: What?
Caller: Well you better go catch it!
Guy: Sir?
Caller: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Guy: Thank you for calling, bye.
*end call*
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mgorycki
I've been around a while
Joined: Sep 10, 2004
Posts: 238
Points : 64
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:43 pm
Post subject: |
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phoAm, PUT THE CRACK PIPE DOWN!!!!
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I don´t care y should u? |
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FlySouth
I'm a Newbie!
Joined: Mar 10, 2005
Posts: 14
Points : 34
Location: 225
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:49 pm
Post subject: My favorites! |
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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a gully?
Rocky
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a field of marijuana?
Bud
What do you call an electrician with no arms and no legs?
Sparky
What do you call a plumber with no arms and no legs?
Wet
What do you call a cat with no legs?
Dogfood
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter. He won't come when you call him anyway.
What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging over your window?
Curt n' Rod
What was the name of the limbless guy that fell in the fire?
Bernie
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs burried 6 feet under?
Doug
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs burried 3 feet under?
Douglas
What do you call a man with no arms, no legs and no torso?
Dick
What do you call a legless and armless boy on a baseball team?
First base
What was the name of the limbless guy that was boiled by cannibals?
Stu
What was the name of the limbless girl who was stuck on a femce?
Barb
What was the name of the limbless guy that worked at the soda plant?
Tab
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that sits on top of a podium?
Mike
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under your car?
Jack
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of your door?
Matt
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your mail box?
Bill
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs water-skiing?
Skip
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs rolling around on the beach?
Sandy
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hole in the ground?
Phil
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs trying to hold-up a bank?
Rob
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other, married to a politician?
Tipper
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs on a dirt road?
Dusty
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who left a smudge on your floor?
Mark
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs that just fell out of a boat?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs flying over a fence?
Homer
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on a grill?
Frank
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs sitting on a grill?
Patty
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a pile of leaves?
Russell
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mgorycki
I've been around a while
Joined: Sep 10, 2004
Posts: 238
Points : 64
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Thu Jun 23, 2005 8:02 am
Post subject: |
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Those were pretty good. I loled on quite a few of them.
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I don´t care y should u? |
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JasonB
Veteran Poster
Joined: Oct 15, 2004
Posts: 793
Points : 1218
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:18 pm
Post subject: |
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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
so you can watch their facial expressions when you turn it on....
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