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TigerU.com Forum Index -> Crap Bucket
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Anonymous
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 Posted:
Sun Jul 24, 2005 2:51 am
Post subject: jesus what a load of crap |
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Help me end all these bombings etc, that’s goin on in the world today, Please.
Dear Whoever, im writing to you without prejudice,
I know what happened to Jesus. In 1913, my great uncle Jesse fell from a 300 foot chimney. He came down arms wide chest proud. Into heaven. The leap of faiths of all leaps of faith. He bought Jesus down from on the cross in how he accepted his fate
http://www.geocities.com/goldenballsspice http://www.lulu.com/134929
Because Jesus died and was reborn, he has 2 souls. Those 2 souls have passed thru history,always destined to meet.Without those miracles.One miracle today is A brother.Theres 2 of us.Who does the other half soul belong to today? YOU KNOW HIM
The book Ive written when coupled with that other half souls,make up the 1st chapter of the next testament.The other half refuses to believe who he is. I took a copy of my book to his house. “My FCuking Side” is the reflection of david beckhams “My Side”
http://www.geocities.com/scottakiens http://www.geocities.com/jesseakiens
My Great uncle Jesse. The only 2 things ive heard about him are that he fell from a chimney 3 days before his 18th birthday, and his name was always considered bad luck in our family. A steeplejack for 13 very long years by that age. An Akiens Steeple-Jack
His childhood was spent looking down over Victorian London. A torturously hard life.
No one ever told me anything more about grt uncle Jesse.He was sold very short. I know what he did that day.What it meant.The whole world missed it.Granddad didnt.He knew something. He didn’t take his secrets with him. he left clues all over the place. On various documents and things. A very clever bloke. Just like my dad. He knew this was the leap of faith of all leaps of faith. The one that bought Jesus down off the cross finally. They were clever, but its me who has the answer to every Question. every single problem we face in this world today, I have the answer. An Akiens intelligence. not an alien one
I know what happened even tho it was 57yrs before I was born.This is a story Dad knew Id dig up,in writing the book he asked me to.As the wind took him off the chimney top, he kicked out off the wall,instinctively.Turning himself in mid air.So he could aim for a tree or bush away from the boiler house roofs below.An akiens philosophy They never wore the safety belts because it removed that option.Huge leather belts with great big hooks. I have my dads belt. Someone else has Jesse`s. my granddad turned 2 falls into dives and lived thru both with that philosophy.The belt tied you to the ropes risking hanging yourself and tying you to the chimney.They came down arms wide chest proud, eyes narrowed. As the last act in this world, Jesse Akiens did all he could for his family. He made it look good.He hit the ground that way. You could forgive them for thinkin it was suicide. It wasnt at all. When I dream the dream of falling, theres no cliff. Im falling from a chimney top. I kick out off the wall to turn myself, spreading my arms at the ground rushing up at me. Eyes the same. The ground never comes. Am I Jesse ? if I had a photo of him I could probably tell.Just by lookin into his eyes.I NEED to see.WHO has one in the family today?I want to add it to Jesse`s chapter.He was worth more than the one line he has in our history.The family NEED to read OUR story.So do YOU. 1000`s of pages of true stories,most they kno already.does my chest have the scars he suffered?
I saw where Jesse reappeared on the world stage.
The gates of Beckham
When I went to beckingham palace. Yesterday the 29th april 2005, I loaded up the car with all sorts of stuff. Disks, printed envelopes, sections of the book, one full printed copy, (which has been updated considerably since that was printed off. Ink costs are too fcukin dear for my disability payments. Me & sid jumped in the car about 9,we reached sawbridgeworth mid afnoon. Having a map so old that didn’t have the m1 on it made it a tricky journey. I went down the m1. lotun, stevenage, hitchin, ware, widford, much hadham, green tye, allens green, sawbridgeworth. I spent about a quarter of a tank driving round thing id find it straight away. I wasted about a quarter of a tank. I went not knowing if the petrol would get me back, or if the car would pack up. I only had 35 pence in my pocket. Never seeing pictures of the place didn’t help. I seen em in the paper years ago but never paid it any attention.I couldn’t find anything that resembled what I found online. I stopped at a park to walk sid, and a gang of kids were playing football. Some woman had her 2 little uns on the swings. The kids asked me about sid. What he was, did he bite, was he ok to stroke. The usual I get off kids. They made an impression. As we were getting in the car the lad said goodbye to sid. One of the kids broke the handle bars on one of his mates bikes.His name was scott.That made me laff.I broke my mates bikes as a young un. De ja vu. Real.I casually dropped into the conversation, “is it here where beckham lives…?” I didn’t want it to come across as sounding weird. “Yeah mate its on bonks hill.” Then he started telling me which way it was. I didn’t have to ask him. I knew where it was, id drove up it when I was looking. He didn’t say which side of the road it was on or how far up bonks hill it was. after about 3 times driving past, I spotted it at the last minute. nah… that cant be the place surely. It looks like someone on abbey lanes drive.” But as I drove into the gateway it became clear id found the right place. As sson as I spotted the “no photo equipment” signs on either side of the gate. Very impressive gates set back maybe 10 yards from the road. Then about a hundred yards beyond those gates were another set of gates. Me and Sid jumped out and walked up to the gates. So this is how the other half live is it I thought. Fair play, he earnt it.
they used to call me beckham. specially shearer. My mate
I took this photo then we left. A crap video phone , with no uploading software, so I had to photo my phone with my crap webcam. You can see it all a lot lot clearer on my phone. The beckhams will know its their gaff. You can see sid and the sign quite clear on the phone photo, but everything behind the gates is still a bit blurry. Next time I go, im takin a proper camera.I dint see any of those ex sas blokes the websites speak of.I left a short copy of the book in the front garden of the little gate house. then I went back up the nature park to give sid another run round.On the way back I nipped back to the beckhams gates and left the full printed (out of date ) copy and a disk or 2. I left sid in the car this time parked on the road opposite in the bus stop pull in. I walked over and down the short drive. By this time it was dark. As I got close to the gates, it felt like a space ship was about to land on me. a security light came on first of all lighting up the place, then red lights came on from up in the trees behind me. I could se the outline of a camera beside the red lights. I carried on up to the gates and dropped the book through the railings. I turned round and walked back smiling up at the cameras. On the envelope I wrote these words. Please pass this on to the beckhams. I need both their help publishing my book “ my fcuking side” . it brings football home to England and girlpower all over the world. That nanny wont be a pain in the jacksy no more. Spa i dropped a few envelopes off all over the place while I were down there. The locals must be well miffed by it all. what about the beckhams.
Now its all a case of waiting to see if they’ll get back to me. will they get back to me in time. without their help its just a matter of time for me. im outta here soon whatever, id like to join the party before then. Id like to start it before then.
The closest this worlds been to the 2 half souls of Christ meeting, that’s if he was at ome when I popped round. I was going to stand in front of the cameras and spread my arms wide like jesus on the cross to take the piss a bit, but I thought that could be misread. Maybe next time. if he`d come out and said hello, id have been in within 2 mintues, within 3 id have half his fortune for half mine. After an hour he will have heard the complete intinery of his birthday bash. A select celebrity guest list, a soundtrack, and me n sid being the complete entertainment package for the bloke who has everything. However much wealthy he becomes, this cant be bought anywhere else no matter how much. His birthday surprise this year surprises everyone. Especially him and the missus. Shame he didn’t come out really. I had to drive back not knowin if id make it back, skint and feelin dirty. A hot day driving down, and then sid fartin on top, I had good reason to feel dirty and skint. Other than that I felt great. I did my job for the family in passing those things through the gates of beckham. all their work on those steeples in those very dark days, I was only too happy to be smelly, skint, dirty, in some ways I must deserve it. when I looked like beckham I had it all. the perfect players life. In writing this book I turned my back on all of it , because I had to. Today I look more like beckhams ghost than beckham. or beckham with cancer would be another way to put it. to say ive come through hell, would be a gross understatement. That ends the minute he is given that book. Who picked it up….? I don’t think it would be right for my work to go unrewarded. i.e, it goes out to the world posthumously. I would like to see the world our books create start through these 2 eyes, not just his after I die. He has the chance to meet the person who climbs in when he ships out of this world. You know that climbing in period better as a nervous breakdown. Everything I do he copies me. hair, falling down, scoring amazing goals, all of it. maybe if I die , who knows, he may follow 5 years later. He has the chance to meet himself in this life. 2 worlds meeting. My fcukin side has all my stuff, as does his side. The only exception to all this copying, is Victoria. I didn’t meet my Victoria until a few years after those 2 met. He reads this very differently to everyone else. He reads it knowing he is me in the story. That is how I know where and when I wake up again. He carries on where I leave off. He sees to it my kids get the same treatment his kids get. And in time your kids will get it too. after publication of my fcukin side, there wont be any more wars. None of that crap.
I need both their help because if the lads get football the girls have to have something as well. the lads don’t quite know how girlpower works perfectly alongside fantasy football. I can explain both perfectly. The spice girls need re uniting to make that happen. Fantasy football sees sid as the new England playing mascot. The perfect footballing coach. When im gone he takes care of sid. We need as long a handover as possible. My real big bro looks after him when he aint playin football. Once all that’s in place, I can go out like I wanna go out. Laughin at the world. Walkin like jack the lad proper. Who knows, with the beckhams help I might not be dyin. I could be saved for all I know. I aint a doctor. I can only go by the state of my mouth and the pains in my throat , to tell me things aint right. Maybe a top notch dentist and good audiologist might have the help I need. If I cant be helped, enjoy the book when it comes out, im thinking of all our kids when I write it. and whatever you do, don’t be pissed I didn’t make it, don’t blame anyone for not doin what they should in time. I only told beckham personally by visitin like I did yesterday. Ive been telling the vicars and the mosques since 911. that’s when I realized our books combined sort out all the crap. You can read that book for free if you pass this news on to someone. Keeping it secret only slows down how long it will be til its all online. I cant do that without the other goldenballss help. Believe me ive tried to get this book known for a long time now.
better than the bible.
Whatever you make of this picture, look at it thru the eyes of david beckham, and KNOW he has seen it now for himself. When he knows you all know, he`ll have no choice but to prove hes worthy of the England captaincy. Callin at my door is all he needs do. Our shandshake televised globally stops all the crap instantly.
Ive had the balls to call at his door, with all that super security. On my own. Does the other goldenballs have the balls to call at my door….id say he has. I could be wrong. That’s a question only he can answer. He shouldn’t need long to decide. My fcukin side is the funniest book u could ever pick up. It WILL change your life.
Or doesn’t he want to bring football home. Or help the missus bring girlpower home. There wont be any space ship type effects when he knocks my door. Its beckingham where you get the alien welcome. At our house you get an akiens welcome. A cuppa, and a chat about old times. With loads of laughs involved. He can tell me about his old times, because ive not read his side. Ive not read it purposely, so he can tell me himself. When im telling him what its been like my side of the fence. The blingless dirty side. I bent in twins on my birthday, im another goldenballs. I met 52 women. All different states. Their average age, was 19. He got the football, the glory, and all the bling, I got the dog, the shi*, and all the mingers.
The parcel I left , I forgot to put a few more pages in. all the letters my neighbs wrote for me in support of me winning the right for contact with my kids. All of them just about say im always out there playin football with the kids. Id invite beckham to join in with em, if hes got the balls for that as well. again, id say so.
If you live in sawbridgeworth , please post a copy of this through the gate for me. the more the better. As soon as a newspaper gets a wiff of it, its going to be splashed all over the papers. He can bring football home after ive died if he wants to wait til then. Trouble is you lot have to wait til the nervous breakdowns stop. Like the ones I went thru the las few of year. My fcukin side brings football home even if he does follow me out straight away. If he gets to stay a bit longer, he has to do it by himself and it will drive him insane without my help. England will either have a much more capable captain, or they will have a broken shattered nervous wreck, come the world cup. With my help he will have the balls to walk anywhere outside beckingham palace. He wont just be seen on the telly or drivin past. He`ll be in the park havin a kick about wi the kids like I did. And no one will be the least bit interested. Once the press leave him alone and let him get on with his dream, bringing home the world cup for England, the better off we`ll all be. his dream is your dream, if you love English football. Would you have liked to be there when England took it in 66. that’s what beckham wants you to have. its got to be better than wars and rape etc.
until he knocks my door, hes a big Jessie !!
Ive had blood tests taken to see if I have cancer. I`ll let you know how sick I am when I get the results back a week on Monday.
I had a greek encounter just like he did. Mine came in kavos 1999. I took Greece my way, the whole of England saw how he took Greece his way. If it happens to me, its on its way to him in some form. I fall down, he gets injured. From cysts on our backs to ribs, wrists and ankles. Our medical records will already prove that. He follows me. when I get something just right out here, i.e scorin my way, he copies that too. I do it for England out here, he does it up there. When England really need him to. bring us together, he has no falls at all, only goals. He is in serious danger of missing the chance to see himself on the street. Pass this on. he knows where I am. He needs you lot behind him, tellin him to come. Otherwise hes goin down in history as a big Jessie, if he misses me.
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AWE
Site Admin
Joined: Nov 24, 2002
Posts: 1655
Points : 1436
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sun Jul 24, 2005 3:01 am
Post subject: |
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this guy again?
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sun Jul 24, 2005 10:58 am
Post subject: |
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i guess so.
I think he has a bad memory and must have forgotten that I attempted to destroy his self-esteem the last time he posted this shit. go away fag!!!
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"That´s my opinion I could be wrong." -Dennis Miller
Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time time but in the end you´re just fucking yourself. |
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JLW
Regular
Joined: Aug 16, 2003
Posts: 155
Points : 338
Location: Red Stick
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:00 pm
Post subject: |
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You can not destroy that which does not exist.
(Damn, that sounds so fucking philosophical.)
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