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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:20 pm
Post subject: Relationship Advice |
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free. Right here.
Go ahead. Askit and I'll tell you what to do.
Social/personal relationships, and maybe some work-related ones.
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cressesgirl
Special
Joined: Jan 19, 2005
Posts: 145
Points : 288
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Feb 02, 2007 1:22 am
Post subject: |
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and what makes you qualified to give this advice?
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AWE
Site Admin
Joined: Nov 24, 2002
Posts: 1655
Points : 1436
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:03 am
Post subject: |
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How do I get bitches to do ass to mouth?
They be trippin!
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____________
Geaux Promotions
We'll Help Your Business Greaux... Call 92-GEAUX!
225-924-3289 (92-GEAUX) |
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cressesgirl
Special
Joined: Jan 19, 2005
Posts: 145
Points : 288
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:43 am
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lesson learned. i'll never reply to anything again.
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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:58 pm
Post subject: |
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and what makes you qualified to give this advice?
Absolutely nothing. That's why it's free. It's one of those take-it-or-leave-it deals, except there's no strings attached. So go ahead, askit. And, I'm honest - if I don't know, I'll say 'I don't know'.
How do I get bitches to do ass to mouth?
You have to be more specific - whose mouth on whose ass? And does 'bitches' literally mean more than one at one time, or you mean any ol' random 'bitch' (as you say) just walking down the street? The answer is different if it's a girlfriend vs. a friend vs. a total stranger.
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Nema
From back in the day...
Joined: Dec 04, 2002
Posts: 21
Points : 28
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Feb 07, 2007 12:34 pm
Post subject: |
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| AWE wrote: | How do I get bitches to do ass to mouth?
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alcohol or drugs 
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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Feb 19, 2007 6:40 pm
Post subject: |
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Ok, I'll just answer some scenarios.
CASE 1: Girl is girlfriend. By which I mean yaw make-out, have normal sex, and say 'I love you' on a somewhat frequent basis. This could either be the easiest or hardest situation. If the girl is really crazy about you, still gives complete blowjobs, and you left your bro-pack for her, all you have to do is ask. Just be kind and take a shower beforehand, preferably with her. Ask while in the shower, but don't try anything else in that area you don't ask for first.
Conversely if you have to practically beg her for normal sex, and you haven't had a complete blow job since the 2nd week of dating, forget it. Not even a diamond ring, a new car, and a 2-day shower with a whole bottle of 409 on your crack will get her mouth anywhere near it. Besides, if this describes you, you need to ditch this Barbie - Succubus and go find a real girl.
CASE 2: Girl is a friend. May or may not be a 'fuck buddy' (which, by the way, does NOT exist). Have a 'spontaneous' night in with pizza, her favorite drink, and a movie of her choosing. Set up a drinking game to go with the movie. At some point during the movie, exclaim how you'd like to put your tongue on one of the female characters' ass. After the movie, start a follow-up conversation or swerve whatever conversation in that direction. Then just drop the bomb: "Hey Lula, you ever had a tongue on yer ass." She'll probly say 'no'. Then ask eagerly "Well, hey, can I do it? I've never done it before." Which she'll probly say "What?!?! You freak. Hell no." "Aw, c'mon, what're friends for? I know we're friends and I'm not trying to change that, I just wanna try it. ... Here, have another wine-cooler." blah blah blah, etc. etc. Keep reminding her that you want to keep the friends-appropriate distance. Be ready to offer money or better yet a big favor in return. Don't worry about reversing roles - that aint going to happen and if you want to keep her as a friend, don't even ask. And whatever you do, (a) don't try anything else, (b) keep any and all promises, (c) don't pout if she refuses, and (d) keep yer mouth shut.
CASE 3. Girl is a stranger. Like perhaps at a bar or at the grocery store. Very few guys can pull this one off, unless she's a prostitute. If you haven't already (and I assume you haven't or you wouldn't be asking) you're not gonna succeed without lots of cash on hand (read a couple thousand) and a private place within 5 minutes' reach. Also, have a soapy wash cloth and a wet rinse cloth handy for HER to use.
On the other hand, this is a disgusting, vile act and should not be requested of or imposed on any woman. And normal dudes don't want any body part, their own or someone else's, anywhere near that area.
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twister
Semi-regular
Joined: Sep 05, 2005
Posts: 66
Points : 252
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Wed Mar 28, 2007 7:27 pm
Post subject: |
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Ok, I have a few I was asked by PM (I guess by people who didn't want to air out their dirty laundry). Here's one (summarized):
Q: There's this really cool chick who recently entered my circle of friends. I think she wants to 'hook up'? I'd like to hook up with her. Should I and if so, how?
Ok, decide right now whether you want to be in this for the long term or not. If not, forget it. Leave her alone. If by 'hook up' you mean recreational sex, you're either misinterpreting her signals or she really does want to f*ck. If the latter, she's proabably a slut ... with diseases ... and she'll end up tearing your heart out by f*cking everyone else. If the former, don't follow up on your misinterpretation and end up a fool. I.E. don't do anything beyond flirting.
If you want the long term, first thing to do is steel yourself for what to do if it falls apart - are you willing to move to another circle of friends? Cause you're gonna have to if y'all break up and you don't want to watch her hooking up with other dudes in your circle. Once you're ready for 'the plunge' try to spend more time around her (make it happen) and watch her and don't act like a retard trying to get her to notice you.
Here are some bad signs - if you see these forget about it, she'll just make you miserable:
* she runs around all cheerful hugging on dudes and jumping in their laps/arms
* she always has an entrouge of dudes, especially good-looking swimming pool types, hanging around her
* she's constantly on the f-ing cell phone and/or she answers the goddam thing right in the middle of a conversation without forewarning that she's expecting a call.
* she criticizes what other girls are wearing
* she can't wait to vote for Hilary Clinton
* she loves to travel and take long walks on the beach (i.e. spend your money and waste time at expensive resorts)
And some good signs:
* she says 'dick' instead of 'penis' or 'thingy'
* she doesn't wear a lot of make-up
* she drives an old beat up car or cheap piece of crap that SHE is paying for.
* she likes beer as well as or better than mixed drinks
* she's willing to help you clean yourself up after you've puked
* she likes movies that don't make it to the theaters
If she's paid any attention to you ask her for a first date (but be prepared to be rejected).
First Date. Have a place and several possible days in mind before asking. Ask her over to YOUR place for dinner (ALONE!) and either make dinner or order out. Make it your place - girls don't like unknown dudes in their space. (I'll post later on where to go if you're in a dorm.) DO NOT plan a date anyplace you can't look in each other's and talk without distractions or being overheard (like a movie theater or restaurant). Clean your place, especially the bathroom (and close the toilet seat). Don't worry about your bedroom - she doesn't/shouldn't want to go there anyway. Hide the Xbox (or give it away - if you're old enough to date like a man, you're too old for Xbox) and DO NOT plan to watch a movie. Leave the teevee off for chrissake. Just dinner and conversation. God, how difficult is that? Light some candles. Put on music that is easily ignored.
Biggest winning move: keep yer goddam mouth shut, especially about yourself. Ask her what she thinks about this or that and SHUT UP AND LISTEN. After the date, don't go blabbing to other people anything she said, no matter how inocuous, funny, stupid, or crazy. Keep the whol date and everything that happened to yourself. If someone asks, just say "oh, it went alright" and change the subject.
Biggest losing moves: Don't try to make a pass and don't offer to show her your weiner.
At the end of the evening (she'll say when it's the end) escort her home or at least to her car and make sure she's safely on her way. At parting she should offer you her hand (if not - you're doomed). Reach out and hold it (don't shake it) and lean forward to kiss her cheek while saying 'thank you for a really cool date'. If you don't want another date, don't offer the kiss - just stay back. If she returns the kiss and/or puts one on your neck, that's encouragement for another date. No cheek kiss = no more dates.
Follow up: Even if the date totally sucked and you're not planning on a second one, call or see her next day (preferably before noon) and first ask her if she got home ok and second thank her again for coming over. If you want a second date ask in a later call/sighting - this isn't the time to do it unless she brings it up. DO NOT DO THIS BY E-MAIL. That's just plain creepy. In person is best, although the hardest.
Bottom line: be a man and treat her like a human being.
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