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| LSU Tigers Baton Rouge Louisiana: Forums |
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TigerU.com Forum Index -> Jokes and Funny Stories
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AWE
Site Admin
Joined: Nov 24, 2002
Posts: 1655
Points : 1436
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:46 pm
Post subject: Damn, It's Good To Be A Man |
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Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt in the rain.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to ask you: "So, notice anything different?"
One mood, ALL the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sat Apr 03, 2004 1:32 pm
Post subject: |
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Ah the wisdom of Alex Evans. All so true.
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Sea_Monkey
Regular
Joined: Dec 20, 2002
Posts: 98
Points : 16
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sat Apr 03, 2004 4:16 pm
Post subject: |
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You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You can open all your own jars.
You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Sorry, but if you're going to post that, make sure some don't apply to you
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Carmen2181
Sexy Bondage Schoolgirl
Joined: Dec 08, 2002
Posts: 180
Points : 0
Location: HELL
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sat Apr 03, 2004 5:23 pm
Post subject: Re: Damn, It's Good To Be A Man |
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| AWE wrote: |
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
One mood, ALL the damn time.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
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okkk the wedding thing... no lol wedding plans do not take care of themselves, men are more in on that now... my dress cost less then the rental, ebay is a wonderful thing... and i pride myself on my belches... sorry alex you are even more moody then a chick and you know it... i don't think i've made my bed in years, i change the sheets and thats all.
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Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul. |
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_MagnoliA_
I've been around a while
Joined: Mar 17, 2004
Posts: 276
Points : 42
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sun Apr 04, 2004 12:17 am
Post subject: hmmm |
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Great thing about being a woman:
We OWNZ you.
Everything that is great about being a man diminishes in the fact that once you have a woman, it all changes.
You watch when you fart and burp.
You may not be worrying about wedding plans, but your credit card is all ours. That old tradition where brides pay has died for decades now.
Your car mechanic may tell you the truth, but it ain't your dear old daddy paying for it like ours.
Your new hair cut will be worthless anyway once you're bald.
That game you get to watch with your buddies? Now becomes a time for "family"
You don't need to give a friend a gift when we expect one everyday.
And lets not forget:
We control your dinner, the choice of movies to watch, when we have children, how many children, the colors you live around, the pink comfortor on your bed, the fuzzy baby blue slippers you wear because -we- bought them. You can become president, but you're surrounded by a cabinet full of women, and all of them are just "too tired" tonight. The reason why you only need the same wallet and shoes is because -we- need the money for our clothes.
Overall, think of how many things of greatness that men have, and then think of all the ones that are useless with the presence of the female...and how much you just need the female 
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AWE
Site Admin
Joined: Nov 24, 2002
Posts: 1655
Points : 1436
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Sun Apr 04, 2004 2:55 am
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I'll put a disclaimer from now on.. if it looks like I pasted the stuff I'm posting into the the forum.. then I don't necessarily agree with all of them.. nor do they all apply to me.
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Ichiban
Game Running Pimp
Joined: Dec 09, 2002
Posts: 1021
Points : 16
Location: Baton Rouge (LSU)
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Apr 05, 2004 12:16 pm
Post subject: important |
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____________
"Everyone is in favor of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage." --Winston Churchill |
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Aprilyn
Regular
Joined: Oct 20, 2003
Posts: 135
Points : 0
Location: Baton Rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Apr 05, 2004 3:24 pm
Post subject: Men |
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Ok you may think its great being a man but remember when you want to hit that and she's pissed your screwed.
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alex2
Veteran Poster
Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Posts: 476
Points : 0
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Apr 05, 2004 7:07 pm
Post subject: |
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In contrast,
When we want to hit that, and you're drunk, YOU'RE screwed.
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rwnugent
Sexiest Man Alive
Joined: Sep 16, 2003
Posts: 2353
Points : 1262
Location: baton rouge
Status: Offline
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Posted:
Mon Apr 05, 2004 8:52 pm
Post subject: |
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touche'
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